Present Day: DreamFails
I had little reason to think of such things until I had a most vivid dream. A dream that I had gone to a party at Pet0r and Eh!Steeeve!‘s place which Scam (and perhaps Ferrero/The Old Italian Grandmother) had attended. I got drunk, crawled into the neighbours’ apartment and fell asleep. I then awoke and had to carefully sneak out […]
It was not just any pus, it was bum pus.
It was surprisingly difficult to access bum pus, an intersphincteric abscess, a pelvic abscess even, high up in the recesses of this poor man’s bum.
Finally the horrid smelling pus started pouring out of its crevice next to the anus.
“I feel like clapping!” said I, delighted at the result.
“You feel […]
Me: Are you a fan of Djokovic?
Amma: No, I don’t like Serbs.
Me: Why not?
Amma: Because they are racist!
KermitTheFrog: It’s the same reason she doesn’t like Israel
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I have been cattacked– a catastrophe. I later turned catatonic before resorting to catstitution, ie making my cats into lolcats. After catrolling with cattitude, I catamaraned onto the following purrrn:
Q: What do you call a combination of cats?
A: A purr-mew-tation!
I next learnt, either via a translation party or perhaps AnnieCat, of the fact that “Mao” (猫) in Mandarin in fact means “cat”, […]
Think of the Children! THE CHILDREN!!
The denizens of the toilets I frequent get worse and worse. From standing on toilet seats to this? Tsk tsk.
Of course I post this on G+ and the following juxtaposition happens in LukePhillips’ stream:
Tasty.
Tea rooms ≠ Pee rooms, or, “No, no I didn’t need my urogenital system after all”
Witness the rather odd collection of […]
Staff toilet
Mainly it is gross for those who follow you. I suppose at least you don’t need to do drugs before you go here.
Household planning
Father to be: Ajax is a good strong name for a boy!
Me: Bullies would wipe the floor with him…
During Difficult Laparoscopic Surgery
Female Surgeon: Now the diathermy, the grasper and the port are ALL falling apart! Hang on […]
BreakfastGreg: Once upon a time there was this guy who jerked off so hard he couldn’t stop. Then he grew hair on his hands. Then his dick fell off. Then he moved to Melbourne. And his name was Greg.
I am well-known as a sarcastic, sardonic, cynical type who pillories emoticons due to their use by what seem to be paedos on the internet luring poor Harry Potter fans to their doom.
Little did I realise that “<3″ would take off in the general community as a genuine term of endearment. That hearts would be touched by, well, […]