It was not just any pus, it was bum pus.
It was surprisingly difficult to access bum pus, an intersphincteric abscess, a pelvic abscess even, high up in the recesses of this poor man’s bum.
Finally the horrid smelling pus started pouring out of its crevice next to the anus.
“I feel like clapping!” said I, delighted at the result.
“You feel […]
I have been cattacked– a catastrophe. I later turned catatonic before resorting to catstitution, ie making my cats into lolcats. After catrolling with cattitude, I catamaraned onto the following purrrn:
Q: What do you call a combination of cats?
A: A purr-mew-tation!
I next learnt, either via a translation party or perhaps AnnieCat, of the fact that “Mao” (猫) in Mandarin in fact means “cat”, […]
Think of the Children! THE CHILDREN!!
The denizens of the toilets I frequent get worse and worse. From standing on toilet seats to this? Tsk tsk.
Of course I post this on G+ and the following juxtaposition happens in LukePhillips’ stream:
Tasty.
Tea rooms ≠ Pee rooms, or, “No, no I didn’t need my urogenital system after all”
Witness the rather odd collection of […]
Staff toilet
Mainly it is gross for those who follow you. I suppose at least you don’t need to do drugs before you go here.
Household planning
Father to be: Ajax is a good strong name for a boy!
Me: Bullies would wipe the floor with him…
During Difficult Laparoscopic Surgery
Female Surgeon: Now the diathermy, the grasper and the port are ALL falling apart! Hang on […]
I am well-known as a sarcastic, sardonic, cynical type who pillories emoticons due to their use by what seem to be paedos on the internet luring poor Harry Potter fans to their doom.
Little did I realise that “<3″ would take off in the general community as a genuine term of endearment. That hearts would be touched by, well, […]
Bobearth: Good word for money: clams.
Me: She held some clams in her clams; he took a slash in her slash.
Ew.
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I was feeling pretty down about my depression. I was scared I had an anxiety disorder. I suffered under the delusion I had schizophrenia. The thought that I might have OCD obsessed me. I couldn’t concentrate on my ADHD and rebelled against oppositional defiant disorder. I really was in two minds about multiple personality disorder. Despondent, my suicide attempts were only borderline, […]