It has become clear that there is only one real way to deal with disputes in the Hospital:
What is an “IIMS” you may ask. How dare you ask. That’s definitely worthy of an IIMS. And after that IIMS, there is only one way to respond. With an IIMS.
Patient bed move: IIMS.
Intern leaving the ward to urinate: IIMS (doctors must always be in acute rental feulire)
Doctor starts giggling: IIMS.
Doctor does an IIMS: IIMS.
Patient is on Lisoprolol: IIMS.
Patient is in bed: IIMS.
Patient is not in bed: IIMS.
Cats sleeping on a bed: IIMS.
Cat doesn’t sleep on dying patient in hospice: IIMS.
Doctor makes a joke with a patient: IIMS.
Patient has uneventful recovery in hospital: IIMS.
Nurse and doctor are friends: Definite IIMS.
Received IIMS: IIMS.
Forgot to put in an IIMS: IIMS.
Did an IIMS: IIMS.
Making fun of the intern: IIMS.
Nurse is a catte: IIMS.
Patient’s family thanks the treating team: IIMS.
Staff members are not using the broom closet for reproductive sessions: IIMS.
Doctor’s room doesn’t have spare physiotherapy equipment and nursing office in it: IIMS.
Intern thinks “catheters are piss easy”: IIMS.
Thinking aloud: IIMS.
Something is done for the patient: IIMS.
Nothing is done for the patient: IIMS.
Thinking about doing something for the patient? IIMS.
Patient decides to put in an IIMS: IIMS.
Empty beds: IIMS.
All the beds are full of patients: IIMS.
Patient is still in hospital: IIMS the patient.
Recursive Möbius MetapseudoIIMS: IIMS.
Not sure whether to IIMS or not? IIMS.
No-one did an IIMS: IIMS.
Busy doing actual work: IIMS.
No-one is at a tea break, teaching, department meeting, multidisciplinary meeting, IIMS committee meeting, IIMS response department chapter branch masonic baptism or taking a dump: IIMS.
Patient got their Lisoprolol: IIMS.
Patient is on Neurofen: IIMS.
Patient enjoyed a hospital meal: IIMS.
Patient is stealing hospital supplies that no-one else wanted anyway: IIMS.
Patient has nine lives because patient is actually a catte: IIMS.
Doctors love to IIMS: IIMS.
Nurses love to IIMS: IIMS.
IIMS committee department response chapter branch masonic baptism of fire principle IIMS responded to by an IIMS in the appropriate fashion: IIMS.
HOW DO I IIMS: IIMS.
Even those who know how to LADIES do know how to IIMS and those who may CATS may also IIMS.
There is no limit to IIMS. IIMS everything.
IIMS is the very foundation of the hospital system.
IIMS is the major employment of administrative staff.
IIMS crashed the IIMS system due to overwhelmingly IIMS of the IIMS and it got IIMS.
Someone suspected IIMS of being a fundamental force of nature and that was shown to be IIMS.
Everyone was inseparable from their IIMS. When severed, their soul fragmented into multiple metapneumocysticosilicoconiosisIIMS.
The heavens trembled and the only people safe from IIMS were a close-knit group of friends, all bound together by their shared secret IIMS.
The IIMS emerged from the bowels of the patients and the lightnings of the platelet machine that featured a prominently IIMS.
It was given form by the earths of wardsmen standing guard over the patient beds in the lifts of the hospital, replete with nurse-cattes, and IIMS was found to be the words of IIMS.
A CEO was Abborted within the broom closet in which the elderly IIMS were sequestered.
The masonic IIMS committee worshipped the gods that were both IIMS and not of IIMS but somehow were also IIMS.
And lo, there was IIMS, and there was nothing that the faithful band of travellers could protect the patients from.
And the IIMS ravaged the land with legs made of IIMS and scuttled amongst the bodies of the IIMS.
Piles of IIMS like a wasteland rose throughout the land and alas the end was nigh.
Infinite multiplication of the IIMS that had called forth IIMS from the void had gathered like bacteroides within a necrotic tumour and, lo, the IIMS was one with IIMS and all that had IIMSed the IIMS.
A shudder as the world dissolved amongst a sea of infinitely IIMS IIMS and the words floated into the necrotic soul of the platelet machine closet and the masons built an edifice that was only of IIMS.
The lighthouse called the IIMS forth and all